Why I'm Happily Married

So many marriages don't make it; I think that may be why people are surprised when they see a young, happily married couple. Now, David and I have only been married two years (newlyweds by almost any account), but I believe there are a few solid reasons why these first years have been enjoyable instead of burdensome.

1. We got to know each other before the wedding.
I like to have as much information as possible before I make a decision, and preparing for marriage was no different. When David's and my friendship blossomed into something more, we took intentional steps to get to know one another. We went on dates where we could talk (a personal favorite), we spent time with each other's family and friends, and we even asked David's mentor to counsel us before we got engaged! I had never heard of pre-engagement counseling, but I wondered, why should I make such a commitment in my heart before being counseled?

2. We are constantly learning about each other and revamping our expectations.
 I didn't even know I expected David to drop everything and greet me at the door after work, so how was he supposed to know? Marriage is full of unexpressed and unmet expectations. And if "hope deferred makes the heart sick," (Prov. 13:12) then it is no wonder that so many couples have a rough start. Fortunately, David and I have learned to speak up when something bothers us. Verbalizing disappointments and assumptions helps clear up misunderstandings and hurt. Don't hide from your spouse. Figuring out what works for you, as a couple, is what makes each marriage unique and beautiful.

3. We pursue God together.
This is probably the most important point, as well as the hardest one to carry out. Being raised in Christian families gave David and me the foundation we needed in our relationships with Christ, but we have found you cannot rest on laurels of the past. Each day we need to interact with God, strengthening our relationships with Jesus as individuals and a couple. We have tried (and failed to be consistent in) many things: reading through the Bible in a year, nightly devotionals, intentional "what-is-God-teaching-you?" talks, but nothing spurs me on to be with Christ like hearing my husband offhandedly mention a sermon podcast he listened to today. When we follow Christ individually, we encourage our spouses to do the same. 

David and I still have arguments and rough days. There are times we need "alone time," and we make a lot of mistakes; yet those difficult times are far outweighed by our love and commitment to each other and our Lord. May you be encouraged in your journey to know your spouse, continually change with him/her, and pursue Jesus together.