Monday, May 31, 2010

Tender Heart

I hope it is not taken as prideful when I title this post "tender heart." These past few months have been very difficult for me. God grabbed my attention and turned my world upside down. The result has been a broken and tender heart.

Being here in the UK, I have continued to learn so much, and yet I have so many questions. When I first arrived here, I noticed that all the pedestrians walked incredibly fast. "They all walk quickly," said Neil, "if they don't, you know they aren't from London!" Consequently, whenever I go out, I speed walk. When I was lost in London I was speed walking with my umbrella overhead, and rudely bustled (and bumped) past two women. "That's London for you," one remarked. In my head I paused. Did I really want to be known like that? Aren't Christians called to stand out from culture?

I am reading Francis Chan's book, "Forgotten God," which is about the Holy Spirit. He invites readers to examine God's Word without any presuppositions (at least, as objectively as is humanly possible), to see the Holy Spirit for who He is. I am looking forward to the journey.

God is really here for me. I see Him more visibly now; feel his presence with me. The peace He gives--it really is beyond understanding, you see? Deep within me, in the center of my very being, I know that God is guiding me, and everything is in His hands. I may not understand why things happen as they do, and transformation may be painful, but I know whom I have believed in. I am getting to know Him better every day. Daily Bible reading and prayer are so very important (not to sound legalistic, it is just so true). You cannot grow closer to someone if you do not speak with them and listen to them.

Please pray with me that God will continue to woo and win my heart.

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